Hands on Healing for a HEROic little baby boy!

Hey all,

It has been a long time since I have written.. To long! I am in the midst of many changes, many endings, and FRESH STARTS and NEW beginings!! There is a book in the making to speak to both!
Meanwhile, before the book has a jacket and its own spot on a Border's shelf. I felt compelled to share some of my yoga/ healing work and personal bits of my journey with you in the meantime...

Many of you might be aware already that I am a power vinyasa yoga teacher, trained heavily and heartily by some of the most incredible teachers and healers! Some of you may or may not know that I have spent much time and training devouring the field of energy medicine. More recently, I have been strengthening my skills as a hands on healer for every physical ailment under the sun and every emotional and mental nook and cranny. My purpose is to educate people at the earliest ROOT of the so called mind body problem, use energy medicine and LOVE to gently bring the dark to LIGHT, clearing it, and letting them get back on the BETTER SMOOTHER ROAD OF THEIR LIFE! In truth, I am sorta like a fireman in another's burning building. I will go into the flames or into the trenches of pain to empower and assist people to get to the other side of whatever and wherever they are at.. Some days or nights, that is largely to assist much needed support with depression, anxiety, insomnia, overeating, drug or alcohol addiction, migraines, nervous tension, trauma history, grief of the death of a loved one, losses of all kinds,Teen stress , schizophrenia, mania, ocd, add, adhd, eating disorders, cancer, frankly the list is endless. Humanity is suffering greatly.. Sometimes, it involves going to a home to do energy work on clearing a home of a troubled spirit or two..Pesky little sad souls.. you name it, IF SOMEONE WANTS SOMETHING BETTER THAN THE CURRENT EXPERIENCE..I am THERE!

For those of you who do not teach yoga, or take yoga or even know what the heck Reiki is , no worries.. Reading my blogs and my sharing my wealth of knowledge and insights and experiences will BENEFIT you in your life, at the very least TOUCH YOUR HEART.. That itself is not a slight thing..It is well known and documented that if you have a chance to FEEL MORE love and peace and compassion in your emotional massive aortic pump, it will SERVE YOUR PHYSICAL HEART's health as well.. So, either way! If you read this, it is a WIN WIN!!!

My work is really shifting these days.. Baron Baptiste has always said many things that stayed with me, lately, I am constantly coming back to his philosophy of "We as a human beings are either constantly in a state of EXPANSION or CONTRACTION in our lives" He knows what he is talking about..

The more I dive deeper into my sweaty pool of yoga bliss, deepen my meditation practice, I was feeling no longer satisfied.. feeling very restless..I felt that that there was something missing EVEN in the midst of all this.. You get to a place where on that yoga mat, your OWN needs are SO deeply well met by YOURSELF, that after your roll up that mat, you feel so well serviced by yourself, and so FULL of EXPANSIVE MIND AND HEART you can NOT NOT want to share that with someone and make a contribution of some sort one way or another.. I have always felt that way, but I was always serving others BEFORE me, so I could not keep up with the energy without eventually depleting my own, or being burnt out, or resentful or beyond exhausted. NOW, I know better, MUCH BETTER. DO YOU FIRST, that is the most SELF LESS thing we can do, then we can REALLY FULLY SHOW UP HAPPILY for others... we WANT To, rather than it feeling like A HAVE TO..

We are the source for all those we have to care for , responsibilites to meet, etc. We might have been born in big families and learned that was SELFISH..but in truth, the better we take care of ourselves, the more we can offer others in so many boundless ways.. We owe it to OURSELVES SELFLESSLY to Replenish ourself, REfresh, and REcharge ourselves.. but after that, IT IS ABOUT WHAT WE CAN OFFER ANOTHER...

It is an ache in me lately growing bigger and bigger to want to serve the world in the most loving, powerful , purposeFUL, positive way possible...

I kept saying that, crying about it even.. Don't knock my tears UNTIL you yourself know from the deepest place what your HERE ON EARTH TO DO and are JUMPING up and DOWN to do it..
I ACHE to keep stepping on my mat, so I can CROSS ME OFF the list and bring love , light , healing, thriving to OTHERS..

Heads up, that is WHAT WE ARE ALL HERE TO DO....to SERVE in the way that makes US feel SO ALIVE, and work NOT AT ALL like work..

Lately, in my constantly expanding aortic pump, I find myself growing wiser, and growing up more than ever, and my heart is reversing its process and becoming as big , and pure as the heart of a CHILD.. So, it should probably not have surprised me when God heard me whining and a couple showed up to ask for my help with their grandbaby.
I thought I had been serving em all, but this I was just not prepared for, but certainly MOST touched by... a most unusual, phenomenal request.. I often bring my Reiki table to people's homes and do healing on adolescents and grown ups for all kinds of rhyme and reason.. I have also recently becoming a very effective Distance healer for people all around the world.. I will go THE DISTANCE for anyone who has an interest in getting behind THEIR OWN WHEEL for bettering their WELLbeing, be it mental, emotional , or physical...The way I see it, FEEL it ? YOUR ALL WELL WORTH MY FIELD trip in this school of life!


All the spiritual practices I discipline myself in, and all the training I have done could not have prepared me for my heart breaking WIDER open thanks to a little defenselesss, baby boy!

A little young man, had his first taste of the world, born last year to a drug addicted couple. He spent the first few months of his life in the most painful conditions, neglect being a small part.. He suffered such a lack of love and attention and care. Is it any wonder? Those who are so stuck in only being able to focus on their next fix or high can not really offer much of that to children, Their thought is not ON the child. Love, and care, they lack it in themselves.. Those who do not value self care, can not possibly offer that to him. HOw we do anything is HOW WE DO EVERYTHING.....

Thankfully, when truth came out of its garbage, rat infested hiding place , that had been obscuring this child of god and his inherent LIGHT.. he was removed from the home, completely despondent and deprived, malnourished, to know any further details would make you vomit and weep the way I did. This sorta thing, in my opinion SHOULD leave us feeling a puke taste in our mouths so we do our part to STAY AWAKE in our HEARTS about it, rather than taking it as just another story in our newpaper or channel..

It is okay however, this story gets BETTER... .God will use any sorta slum condition, and the flimsiest resume for THE FUTURE's MOST POWERFUL UP and COMING leaders.

Thankfully, when he was removed from the home, and put into protective services, a woman in charge of his file, took it upon herself to forgo her business as usual work manner for these sort of cases, and DUG DEEP TO FIND ANYONE who might be related to him in the US..

SEEK and YOU WILL FIND.. God will MAKE SURE!!!! She contacted his grandparents over here in NH and slowly, the process to get him into the home of those who would SEE his true beautiful spirit and strength and shower him with love and opportunities to SUPPORT His TRUE potential began!!!

Meanwhile, back at my yoga ranch, I am over here and it is sinking in more and more the wise words of my yoga teacher, world famous , wild haired Seane Corn.. "The deepest pain you have overcome is EXACTLY where God will call you forth to come back to AND SERVE.. after all, who BETTER than you??
I am blessed beyond belief that all this spiritual stuff have been the CRITICAL tools for me to embark on a journey of HEALING and OVERCOMING a painful, trauma history of my own as a child.. I have felt the call from withIN for a long, long time to offer BACK to humanity's children suffering from abuse, growing up in violence as I did... For the longest time, my TERRIFIED ego remained resistant to going back INTO anything I once resided in.. Now I know that my EXPANSIVE HEART is telling my SMALL ego to GET OVER IT.. There are kids everywhere that are WAY BEYOND a sad story in the news or on the radio.. and I finally get it that IF I IGNORE that personal calling to help a small child, or teen or man or woman stuck in some vicious pain story, I am IGNORING an OLD mirror of ME.
My heart can not sit with that, and thankfully, finally my ego can not either..

So, the boy wins out.. I can not NOT show up!!!

I am told by plenty of people about ALL the ways this boy is SUFFERING, I am given the blow by blow of all his disorders, and lack.. I am assured by plenty in authority or a white coat that HE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO ....
I can not buy it.. Besides, he does not need me to BUY that spiel. there are plenty of others supporting what he CAN NOT do , or WON"t ever be able to do..

His grandparents however are applying a different sort of prescription, DESPITE being told it is not going to be effective.. or help much..

THE MEDICINE THEY ARE ADMINISTERING.. ..... LOVE!

They are MAINLINING love to this little boy since he has been brought home to them a few months, and that is WHY I MUST GET ON BOARD...
My hands on healing IS about MAINLINING a divine wholehearted healing energy. My hands are simply a gentle channel from the very place he came from. i am just a conduit.... Reiki healing is MOST effective and most gently powerful by one who has done their own inner work to clear out their own emotional woundology, repressed anger, repressed heartache, that creates A BLOCK from the energy being able to easily pass through.. and believe me my own experiences had me once carting around some pyschic lawn and leaf bags of huge pain I was overwhelmed and intimidated to FEEL, but FEELING it, rather than fighting it? was THE PATH.. to HEAL IT..
My work on myself once was where my work ONLY could be.. but like I said, it gets to be SO MORE THAN ABOUT US, and the opportunities to be able to serve something like this are just beyond humbling.. I guess God is pleased with the deep healing work I have done on myself and is trying to push me out of the therapy boat and Get ON with it..

I feel obligated to be of RELIEF aid at a deep deep level, as deep as this boy feels SAFE and COMFORTABLE enough to let me in that is.. That is for HIM to teach and guide me on.. My only requirement is to JUST HONOR HIS say on how close or how far he and I can go with this..

For the record, I feel SO differently about my own history. This might shock you, but I AM THANKFUL and GRATEFUL for it.. I am grateful that i have had the horrid experiences I did, because it was THE NECESSARY ingredient REQUIRED for this kind of work as a yoga teacher in the world today, or a healer or a counselor.
ONe needs to have the widest level of EMPATHY , and COMPASSION for another's pain. One needs to be able to UNDERSTAND it beyond what has been read for school.. One must be able to be comfortable and loving enough with their own pain to be able to hold a REALLY big UNconditional space for another..
I would not have that at the level I do in my work or own parenting had i not had my own childhood chapters.

Not healing my pain long long ago, meant that it followed me right into my adult life, where I made a HUGE mess of things, and no matter how much energy I put into fixing and helping others or ignoring or eating my way through, or smoking etc.. it simply chased me all over hell and back, and NOTHING in the moment that could instantly pacify or soothe me was the answer for really laying it to rest.

Thankfully, my parents were NOT drug users.. I do NOt know what that is like..but I DO know what it is like to be a child where home is NOT safe, and there is to much turbulence, for lack of a better word to SEE the children.. I know what it is like to NOT feel SAFE and SECURE.. and that is true for EVERY one of us who experienced any sorta pain in childhood, or a parent's abuse , or alcoholic parents, or divorce..or poverty..
WE can go on and on with the painful plots OR we can see how not having VERY SECURE ROOTS in our childhood.. ALL of ALL our ROOTS for TRUST, STABILITY, SELF CARE, RELATIONSHIP BEGIN in our earliest experiences as children!!!

When we grow up wondering if we are safe , phyically or emotionally, will have a home over our heads, food in our bellies, safe in our beds, being loved and cared for, UNconditionally, if our parents will stay together, we are not aware that our experiences are setting up all our beliefs, and our future adult relationships.

I refuse to sit back and watch YET ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL CHILD from GOD grow up just trying to get by in this life, feeling scattered , unworthy, undeserving, not being able to hold a job, or have a healthy intimate relationship, end up homeless, penniless, or punishing herself or himself for parents whose esteem was simply in the toilet and it then becomes that child's self fullfilling prophecy..

Yes, I hear them say that he will grow up being labeled with every label there is that screams BROKEN! HOPELESS..
I can care for it, but I do not have to CARE MORE about it.. That simply feeds the energy of REMAINING STUCK, BROKEN, FRAGMENTED, and TERMINALLY HOPELESS..

I think that my ex boyfriend as a REALIST attorney often felt a bit irritated about my IDEALIST, POLLYANNA, SPIRITUAL convictions.. Yet, although there was not meth in my early years, my OWN early years were a MESS.. I was told by many men in white coats, counselors, and family members.. all of em WELL intentioned that I Too would NOT be able to retrieve my life or my low seratonin levels and Recreate a quality of life for myself either..
Apparently, God thought otherwise, and allowed me to use yoga instead as my credible tool for healing so I was not constantly hospitalized instead...

IF I can come out of MY hell, anything is possible FOR this little man or anyone..
When Seane Corn told me that about what I was here to do in this life, I was floored, I had never thought of my life as anything but USELESS , let alone have a ACTUAL UNIQUE TO ME purpose for my existence..
I know now that part of my divine plan, was to GET GROUNDED, the very thing I needed in the early years was to FEEL stable, SAFE, secure, loved in a helluva lot healthier ways..
THEN we DO relax!! With grounding and stablility,and UNconditional TLC, we DO THRIVE..
as we are ALL meant to, no matter what the story was with our mommy and daddy's..

no matter who says we can NOT overcome whatever the lifetime saga is or was..
With a SOLID foundation of LOVE and CARE , we can really build a beautiful castle to put on top.. and it is never to late..
Besides, in truth? When we adults LOVE and NURTURE another child? it HEALS at the DEEPEST root the INNER child in US all...
Stay tuned.. Love and prayer from any of you for him , for my work , for his grandparents would only CONTRIBUTE here too.. It takes a village, and what is this life FOR if not to make it LESS difficult for ONE ANOTHER..
Love love LOVE HEALS. and IS truly the ROOT REMEDY.. for WHOLENESS and our SOUL THRIVING....