Hands on Healing for a HEROic little baby boy!

Hey all,

It has been a long time since I have written.. To long! I am in the midst of many changes, many endings, and FRESH STARTS and NEW beginings!! There is a book in the making to speak to both!
Meanwhile, before the book has a jacket and its own spot on a Border's shelf. I felt compelled to share some of my yoga/ healing work and personal bits of my journey with you in the meantime...

Many of you might be aware already that I am a power vinyasa yoga teacher, trained heavily and heartily by some of the most incredible teachers and healers! Some of you may or may not know that I have spent much time and training devouring the field of energy medicine. More recently, I have been strengthening my skills as a hands on healer for every physical ailment under the sun and every emotional and mental nook and cranny. My purpose is to educate people at the earliest ROOT of the so called mind body problem, use energy medicine and LOVE to gently bring the dark to LIGHT, clearing it, and letting them get back on the BETTER SMOOTHER ROAD OF THEIR LIFE! In truth, I am sorta like a fireman in another's burning building. I will go into the flames or into the trenches of pain to empower and assist people to get to the other side of whatever and wherever they are at.. Some days or nights, that is largely to assist much needed support with depression, anxiety, insomnia, overeating, drug or alcohol addiction, migraines, nervous tension, trauma history, grief of the death of a loved one, losses of all kinds,Teen stress , schizophrenia, mania, ocd, add, adhd, eating disorders, cancer, frankly the list is endless. Humanity is suffering greatly.. Sometimes, it involves going to a home to do energy work on clearing a home of a troubled spirit or two..Pesky little sad souls.. you name it, IF SOMEONE WANTS SOMETHING BETTER THAN THE CURRENT EXPERIENCE..I am THERE!

For those of you who do not teach yoga, or take yoga or even know what the heck Reiki is , no worries.. Reading my blogs and my sharing my wealth of knowledge and insights and experiences will BENEFIT you in your life, at the very least TOUCH YOUR HEART.. That itself is not a slight thing..It is well known and documented that if you have a chance to FEEL MORE love and peace and compassion in your emotional massive aortic pump, it will SERVE YOUR PHYSICAL HEART's health as well.. So, either way! If you read this, it is a WIN WIN!!!

My work is really shifting these days.. Baron Baptiste has always said many things that stayed with me, lately, I am constantly coming back to his philosophy of "We as a human beings are either constantly in a state of EXPANSION or CONTRACTION in our lives" He knows what he is talking about..

The more I dive deeper into my sweaty pool of yoga bliss, deepen my meditation practice, I was feeling no longer satisfied.. feeling very restless..I felt that that there was something missing EVEN in the midst of all this.. You get to a place where on that yoga mat, your OWN needs are SO deeply well met by YOURSELF, that after your roll up that mat, you feel so well serviced by yourself, and so FULL of EXPANSIVE MIND AND HEART you can NOT NOT want to share that with someone and make a contribution of some sort one way or another.. I have always felt that way, but I was always serving others BEFORE me, so I could not keep up with the energy without eventually depleting my own, or being burnt out, or resentful or beyond exhausted. NOW, I know better, MUCH BETTER. DO YOU FIRST, that is the most SELF LESS thing we can do, then we can REALLY FULLY SHOW UP HAPPILY for others... we WANT To, rather than it feeling like A HAVE TO..

We are the source for all those we have to care for , responsibilites to meet, etc. We might have been born in big families and learned that was SELFISH..but in truth, the better we take care of ourselves, the more we can offer others in so many boundless ways.. We owe it to OURSELVES SELFLESSLY to Replenish ourself, REfresh, and REcharge ourselves.. but after that, IT IS ABOUT WHAT WE CAN OFFER ANOTHER...

It is an ache in me lately growing bigger and bigger to want to serve the world in the most loving, powerful , purposeFUL, positive way possible...

I kept saying that, crying about it even.. Don't knock my tears UNTIL you yourself know from the deepest place what your HERE ON EARTH TO DO and are JUMPING up and DOWN to do it..
I ACHE to keep stepping on my mat, so I can CROSS ME OFF the list and bring love , light , healing, thriving to OTHERS..

Heads up, that is WHAT WE ARE ALL HERE TO DO....to SERVE in the way that makes US feel SO ALIVE, and work NOT AT ALL like work..

Lately, in my constantly expanding aortic pump, I find myself growing wiser, and growing up more than ever, and my heart is reversing its process and becoming as big , and pure as the heart of a CHILD.. So, it should probably not have surprised me when God heard me whining and a couple showed up to ask for my help with their grandbaby.
I thought I had been serving em all, but this I was just not prepared for, but certainly MOST touched by... a most unusual, phenomenal request.. I often bring my Reiki table to people's homes and do healing on adolescents and grown ups for all kinds of rhyme and reason.. I have also recently becoming a very effective Distance healer for people all around the world.. I will go THE DISTANCE for anyone who has an interest in getting behind THEIR OWN WHEEL for bettering their WELLbeing, be it mental, emotional , or physical...The way I see it, FEEL it ? YOUR ALL WELL WORTH MY FIELD trip in this school of life!


All the spiritual practices I discipline myself in, and all the training I have done could not have prepared me for my heart breaking WIDER open thanks to a little defenselesss, baby boy!

A little young man, had his first taste of the world, born last year to a drug addicted couple. He spent the first few months of his life in the most painful conditions, neglect being a small part.. He suffered such a lack of love and attention and care. Is it any wonder? Those who are so stuck in only being able to focus on their next fix or high can not really offer much of that to children, Their thought is not ON the child. Love, and care, they lack it in themselves.. Those who do not value self care, can not possibly offer that to him. HOw we do anything is HOW WE DO EVERYTHING.....

Thankfully, when truth came out of its garbage, rat infested hiding place , that had been obscuring this child of god and his inherent LIGHT.. he was removed from the home, completely despondent and deprived, malnourished, to know any further details would make you vomit and weep the way I did. This sorta thing, in my opinion SHOULD leave us feeling a puke taste in our mouths so we do our part to STAY AWAKE in our HEARTS about it, rather than taking it as just another story in our newpaper or channel..

It is okay however, this story gets BETTER... .God will use any sorta slum condition, and the flimsiest resume for THE FUTURE's MOST POWERFUL UP and COMING leaders.

Thankfully, when he was removed from the home, and put into protective services, a woman in charge of his file, took it upon herself to forgo her business as usual work manner for these sort of cases, and DUG DEEP TO FIND ANYONE who might be related to him in the US..

SEEK and YOU WILL FIND.. God will MAKE SURE!!!! She contacted his grandparents over here in NH and slowly, the process to get him into the home of those who would SEE his true beautiful spirit and strength and shower him with love and opportunities to SUPPORT His TRUE potential began!!!

Meanwhile, back at my yoga ranch, I am over here and it is sinking in more and more the wise words of my yoga teacher, world famous , wild haired Seane Corn.. "The deepest pain you have overcome is EXACTLY where God will call you forth to come back to AND SERVE.. after all, who BETTER than you??
I am blessed beyond belief that all this spiritual stuff have been the CRITICAL tools for me to embark on a journey of HEALING and OVERCOMING a painful, trauma history of my own as a child.. I have felt the call from withIN for a long, long time to offer BACK to humanity's children suffering from abuse, growing up in violence as I did... For the longest time, my TERRIFIED ego remained resistant to going back INTO anything I once resided in.. Now I know that my EXPANSIVE HEART is telling my SMALL ego to GET OVER IT.. There are kids everywhere that are WAY BEYOND a sad story in the news or on the radio.. and I finally get it that IF I IGNORE that personal calling to help a small child, or teen or man or woman stuck in some vicious pain story, I am IGNORING an OLD mirror of ME.
My heart can not sit with that, and thankfully, finally my ego can not either..

So, the boy wins out.. I can not NOT show up!!!

I am told by plenty of people about ALL the ways this boy is SUFFERING, I am given the blow by blow of all his disorders, and lack.. I am assured by plenty in authority or a white coat that HE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO ....
I can not buy it.. Besides, he does not need me to BUY that spiel. there are plenty of others supporting what he CAN NOT do , or WON"t ever be able to do..

His grandparents however are applying a different sort of prescription, DESPITE being told it is not going to be effective.. or help much..

THE MEDICINE THEY ARE ADMINISTERING.. ..... LOVE!

They are MAINLINING love to this little boy since he has been brought home to them a few months, and that is WHY I MUST GET ON BOARD...
My hands on healing IS about MAINLINING a divine wholehearted healing energy. My hands are simply a gentle channel from the very place he came from. i am just a conduit.... Reiki healing is MOST effective and most gently powerful by one who has done their own inner work to clear out their own emotional woundology, repressed anger, repressed heartache, that creates A BLOCK from the energy being able to easily pass through.. and believe me my own experiences had me once carting around some pyschic lawn and leaf bags of huge pain I was overwhelmed and intimidated to FEEL, but FEELING it, rather than fighting it? was THE PATH.. to HEAL IT..
My work on myself once was where my work ONLY could be.. but like I said, it gets to be SO MORE THAN ABOUT US, and the opportunities to be able to serve something like this are just beyond humbling.. I guess God is pleased with the deep healing work I have done on myself and is trying to push me out of the therapy boat and Get ON with it..

I feel obligated to be of RELIEF aid at a deep deep level, as deep as this boy feels SAFE and COMFORTABLE enough to let me in that is.. That is for HIM to teach and guide me on.. My only requirement is to JUST HONOR HIS say on how close or how far he and I can go with this..

For the record, I feel SO differently about my own history. This might shock you, but I AM THANKFUL and GRATEFUL for it.. I am grateful that i have had the horrid experiences I did, because it was THE NECESSARY ingredient REQUIRED for this kind of work as a yoga teacher in the world today, or a healer or a counselor.
ONe needs to have the widest level of EMPATHY , and COMPASSION for another's pain. One needs to be able to UNDERSTAND it beyond what has been read for school.. One must be able to be comfortable and loving enough with their own pain to be able to hold a REALLY big UNconditional space for another..
I would not have that at the level I do in my work or own parenting had i not had my own childhood chapters.

Not healing my pain long long ago, meant that it followed me right into my adult life, where I made a HUGE mess of things, and no matter how much energy I put into fixing and helping others or ignoring or eating my way through, or smoking etc.. it simply chased me all over hell and back, and NOTHING in the moment that could instantly pacify or soothe me was the answer for really laying it to rest.

Thankfully, my parents were NOT drug users.. I do NOt know what that is like..but I DO know what it is like to be a child where home is NOT safe, and there is to much turbulence, for lack of a better word to SEE the children.. I know what it is like to NOT feel SAFE and SECURE.. and that is true for EVERY one of us who experienced any sorta pain in childhood, or a parent's abuse , or alcoholic parents, or divorce..or poverty..
WE can go on and on with the painful plots OR we can see how not having VERY SECURE ROOTS in our childhood.. ALL of ALL our ROOTS for TRUST, STABILITY, SELF CARE, RELATIONSHIP BEGIN in our earliest experiences as children!!!

When we grow up wondering if we are safe , phyically or emotionally, will have a home over our heads, food in our bellies, safe in our beds, being loved and cared for, UNconditionally, if our parents will stay together, we are not aware that our experiences are setting up all our beliefs, and our future adult relationships.

I refuse to sit back and watch YET ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL CHILD from GOD grow up just trying to get by in this life, feeling scattered , unworthy, undeserving, not being able to hold a job, or have a healthy intimate relationship, end up homeless, penniless, or punishing herself or himself for parents whose esteem was simply in the toilet and it then becomes that child's self fullfilling prophecy..

Yes, I hear them say that he will grow up being labeled with every label there is that screams BROKEN! HOPELESS..
I can care for it, but I do not have to CARE MORE about it.. That simply feeds the energy of REMAINING STUCK, BROKEN, FRAGMENTED, and TERMINALLY HOPELESS..

I think that my ex boyfriend as a REALIST attorney often felt a bit irritated about my IDEALIST, POLLYANNA, SPIRITUAL convictions.. Yet, although there was not meth in my early years, my OWN early years were a MESS.. I was told by many men in white coats, counselors, and family members.. all of em WELL intentioned that I Too would NOT be able to retrieve my life or my low seratonin levels and Recreate a quality of life for myself either..
Apparently, God thought otherwise, and allowed me to use yoga instead as my credible tool for healing so I was not constantly hospitalized instead...

IF I can come out of MY hell, anything is possible FOR this little man or anyone..
When Seane Corn told me that about what I was here to do in this life, I was floored, I had never thought of my life as anything but USELESS , let alone have a ACTUAL UNIQUE TO ME purpose for my existence..
I know now that part of my divine plan, was to GET GROUNDED, the very thing I needed in the early years was to FEEL stable, SAFE, secure, loved in a helluva lot healthier ways..
THEN we DO relax!! With grounding and stablility,and UNconditional TLC, we DO THRIVE..
as we are ALL meant to, no matter what the story was with our mommy and daddy's..

no matter who says we can NOT overcome whatever the lifetime saga is or was..
With a SOLID foundation of LOVE and CARE , we can really build a beautiful castle to put on top.. and it is never to late..
Besides, in truth? When we adults LOVE and NURTURE another child? it HEALS at the DEEPEST root the INNER child in US all...
Stay tuned.. Love and prayer from any of you for him , for my work , for his grandparents would only CONTRIBUTE here too.. It takes a village, and what is this life FOR if not to make it LESS difficult for ONE ANOTHER..
Love love LOVE HEALS. and IS truly the ROOT REMEDY.. for WHOLENESS and our SOUL THRIVING....

Sweet Melissa.....

Beloved YOU!





How are you?? I am humbled that YOU have taken an interest in my writing...





Currently, I have extreme writer's block... I thought that I would HONOR the BLOCK and NOT write.. Yet, I know now , that even if I have NO clue what to write about .. I am going to write anyway, maybe something DEEPER will come up from my heart that has been sitting inside me unexpressed on the Language Layaway shelf.. who knows?





I DO KNOW THIS MUCH..... I REALLY DO enjoy writing in hopes someone else OUT THERE, yes, YOU, finds it..... I hope what you find behind my words is the sense your sitting down with a cup of __________________ (insert your favorite beverage) and having a heart to heart with a dear friend, the authentic friend who FEELS you while sharing myself and that I am someone who understands you IN THIS VERY MOMENT, supporting YOU in where you are with yourself in this very chapter of your life.





Hmmm, what is new with me? A LOT... I am in the midst of a very VERY big crossroads with myself... I like people to share with me , so I guess I better share the heart of me and the heart of my life with you and then maybe you will feel it is comfortable to talk back...





I have a beloved girlfriend that is getting ready to leave for Dubai for teaching overseas... To talk to you about Melissa, I would have to backtrack... Melissa NOW is NOT the girl I met oh so many years ago.. THAT MELISSA was terrified to take up any sort of breathing room for what she herself wanted , let alone do anything MAJOR like educate children in the Middle East...



Yoga leads you the MOST amazing people.. and my friendship with Meliss really cultivated itself through the vehicle of Baptiste yoga... but actually our first meeting really began at a tatoo parlor.. God WILL use the flimsiest opportunity to bring people together.. Meliss was working at the front desk of the tatoo parlor, Screaming Needles.. I was TERRIFIED to get a tat, you nuts, I practically needed a valium to get through a Depo Provera shot every three months.. Yet, for months , I kept visualizing what it would look like to have tatoo of rosary beads wrapped around my wrist... I was terrified, but the milestone of my DIRTY THIRTY birthday , coupled with working out as a power lifter, no really! gave me a bit of inner confidence to sit still for needlework...
I have to laugh, looking back , i KNEW what I wanted, stared at the design for it for months, kept chickening out , but SOMETHING within said NEEDLE SCHMEEDLE chicken shit! and I found myself walking in there. I could not go alone, and ironically a few of my hs students I was close to that I had sorta "adopted" wanted tats too..So , in we go, me with my rosary idea, and them with the .. what else? Visions of Barbed wire...





When I finally got in there, I STILL ended up looking over a gazillion tat designs, lacking the esteem to say I KNOW WHAT I WANT.. there is NO need to look over other things.. I KNEW I wanted that for half a year.. What was the need to look around for?


Not being confident to say what I personally wanted , and always being certain something or someone ELSE knew better than me.. HA!





Melissa was friendly , friendlier than most females I encountered, and we spoke a bit , she loved my idea of the rosary...





The tat's symbolism to me had , ironically, NOTHING to do with BIG G, (God) it had to do with having an actual anchor to look at to keep me grounded and centered... and yet, it probably would come as no surprise to you , that I NEVER noticed the thing in the moments I needed it most.. and I can also share that I WAS NOT NOTICING the AMaZING female friend God had brought to me that day... I think , sadly, I did not REALLY get it until um.. last weekend when we were hanging out together.. REALLY get it..


I hope if you have such a friend YOU GET that they too were scripted to BE IN YOUR LIFE. , AND YOU FOR THEM as well......and SAVOR that and SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH EM as you can before they decide to jump ship of your local yocal zip and go save the world in a Middle Eastern Country .... (As I write this, time with her is winding down rapidly, I am reminded of my Boggle sand timer, and "IF YOU LEAVE" is playing on the radio...





Anyway, Melissa and I never exchanged numbers or emails or anything . I just thought she was super sweet and in the middle of all the barbed wire of my student/ other children I was with, I appreciated a FEMALE in the bunch...





The following summer, my son ended up being privy to spending the summer on Camp Mayhew and sure enough, MELISSA was one of the counselors...She came up to me friendly as ever, said she remembered my tatoo..



I still did not get it that God was attempting AGAIN to bring not just a female friend in my life, buT a TRUE SOUL SISTA...





God must have laughed and shook his head and said "oh there will be more times".. ...


Years later, she ends up to be the girlfriend of a friend of mine. I had sorta stumbled on the yoga path back then, but in fear of its power of changing the ME I knew, I kept jumping back off and hiding in the bushes..


Somehow , Adam, said "Aim, YOU have to do yoga with me, and my gf.. Her name is Melissa, she is my ANGEL." (Side note, girls make sure YOU are with a guy who sees YOUR LIGHT THAT WAY, and has the balls to SPEAK IT OUT LOUD, despite risking embarrassment from his Joe's ) Melissa, blonde and blue eyed with a heart that can heal the world indeed looks like she is a live Angel.. and now that I REALLY know her.. I KNOW that God knew just what he was doing inserting her into mine or her now husband's life.





I ended up teaching them both yoga , a class that lasted .. ha ha.. 3- 4 hours.. I nearly killed them both . but something underneath her sore aching ass had been been awakened and she began turning up in a class I taught at a local women's fitness center...


That led into teaching her privately in my tiny apt. (I nicknamed it Cooper Street Castle) to get her ready for her upcoming wedding... She made the trek to my apt from her area , and began following my classes ANY where I was teaching.. Looking back , she was one of my biggest fans.. She loved my classes, I LOVED having someone to talk to about yoga, about seeking a better life through the vessel of yoga..


Meliss began accompanying me to Baron' s then Boston studio...She has since completed a teacher training with Baron, something she never thought it was feasible to manifest on her school teacher's income, but when she first got going , the girl could NOT stand the heat.. She had to leave the room several times, and she would apologize to me incessantly ALL The way home about being with me ,and how she did not want me to look less being with HER...


Regardless she KEPT COMING.. and with every yoga field trip to Boston we took together, her having her REALLY boost her water intake to not get so dehydrated in that heat, we would have to allow extra time for the few hour drive so she could constantly PEE at every gas station, and Dunkin Donuts and rest area we could scope out....





Melissa constantly told me how I was such a personal inspiration for her to honor herself, enjoy herself , make peace with her own body, and speak her truth.. I guess I was so busy BEING in the TEACHER's seat, and leading that that It never really hit me until just recently, the kind of LOVE I COULD RECEIVE BACK from HER, and the gifts of HER being in my life.



It is like if we did not get it then, we sure get it right at the tail end what a GOD SEND some of the characters in our lives are... as long as eventually we DO get it I supose..





The first summer of my first yoga studio, Melissa and I spent HOURS upon HOURS together.. Do not misunderstand , ALWAYS I appreciated MELISSA.. Yet, as I come into accepting and allowing MORE space for LOVING friends to come closer to me, I REALLY feel how AWEsome , and EXTRAordinary Meliss is IN MY LIFE, not just me hearing what good I was bringing to her...
Melissa and I spent hours upon hours, practicing together, day long road trips to Baron's studios, hours upon hours talking about yoga. .NO ONE else I KNEW around my way had the same love for it I had.. .. I was thrilled to have someone to have someone to dish with about downward dogs, and arm balances and she was the one MOST supportive of my work, of my studio, of my NEW self...





I watched her totally transform herself, making the trek to my studio , an hour each way, which I SO APPRECIATED as I know personally the drive to Cambridge from P town NH, is NOT a slight thing either... I watched her hunger for transformation , I FELT that same hunger and ache for growth that I too had. She came to classes 5-6 days a week. She lost weight and found her REAL body, and a confidence I NEVER witnessed.. The girl who kept going into apology for breathing and taking up space in her own life.. and STILL as I sat in awe of it, I never really allowed my heart to OPEN TO RECEIVE HER.





To be honest, I do not have any sort of relationship with my mom. I have never known if I was coming or going with her as she never really gave me a heads up the several times she would disown me, kick me out to live with teachers or friend's family.. This began in adolescence and my siblings were held back from contact with me too, if she was not feeling the love for me, she simply threatened to have me arrested if I was to try to phone my siblings , or show up at the house to see them. I once snuck into town to see my youngest sister's school teacher to ask if she could please give a letter to my sister who I missed so much.. I was terrified my mom would find out, but I felt sick inside worrying my sister thought I didn't give her a thought. When she loved me , I WAS IN.. I was her best friend.. , when I was OUT? I WAS IN SIBERIA.;.. Worse, even when I thought things were blissful and rock steady between Mom and I , she often poked fun at me behind my back to my other sisters, so the sense of trust with females? yeah.. um.. NOT!


I never THOUGHT much of this other than what it was, Until this newfangled yoga AWARENESS shit , I NEVER gave it a thought that it was anything that defined me ,or kept me from DENYING AND DEPRIVING myself of some BEAUTIFUL , AUTHENTIC , females in my life.. yet, I KNOW NOW why I sought out friendships with boys.. they were easier and they stuck by you, plus no muss and no fuss of catty drama!


Funny the psychic suitcases we ALL carry around huh? Want to understand and make change in some area of YOUR current life? GO BACK to the ROOT of where all things began for all of us.. with our mommies and daddies.. those relationships or LACK there of , if we are not aware of it.. set up the backdrop for ALL relationships with males and females.





Somehow in between the off again , on again love life with my mother, constantly putting me down and calling me names, and making it her other profession to tell me what a low life I was. I was so busy shielding myself , but subconconsciously musta made a pact to NEVER REALLY let myself get close to females. I would open my heart to THEM, but all the while NEVER would I RISK letting them get close to me.. STORY of my WHOLE life!





What I hope to share with you is this... Every single one of us in this HUMAN life gets a kick in the head, heart and gut by SOMEONE we are in relationship with and we work overtime to maintain the energy of emotional contraction , and create all kinds of blockades and walls to keep PEOPLE OUT and AWAY from the place we felt that hurt.. BUT , and this is a HUGE BUT, Please please PLEASE.. learn from my truths with you.. When we work hard to armor ALL of our heart or most of it. NO ONE really CAN hurt us , but no one can get through TO LOVE us either..

I still have nothing loving or safe with my mom.... My yoga mat has been the brunt of some heart racking sobs in hip openers and Camels over it... My yoga mat has been the training ground for me TO DEEPLY heal this. only the joke was ON ME, the so called TEACHER.. Crying it out TILL your ALL cried out is ONE way to heal it, and YOU MUST.. you OWE it to yourself who DESERVES all the love your heart can take.. and without barriers , we can grow our hearts bigger to receive FULL THROTTLE love and kindness, despite where we did not get it before..


But take my word on this beloved adorable blogger!


Once you get done doing the necessary crying and snotting on your mat, your bed pillow or wherever to heal the deep residue of being dropkicked in the emotional aortic pump.. you OWE it to YOU and those who VALUE your love and your presence to LET THEM IN...That is the risk darlings, but that is TRUE DAT HEALING..... I add to that , if you don't go to the localized central location for where your heart shut down, you know deep down, despite the emotional ground zero, a part of you STILL seeks connection, so you try again, in friendships or relationships, etc.. but without even realizing it, there is always a bit of a disconect, meaning you show up with others but never FULLY , and you never FULLY let THEM get an in either! To top it off, you sorta kinda truthfully put what I refer to as an" energetic fuck" you on the WRONG someone....


More on that in another blog...





You know what? Melissa is one of my closest fucking friends, Baptiste yoga soul sistas , and right up until last weekend , It never HIT me until it did, what a DIVINE companion came into my life.. Also, I do NOT recommend getting the news from a friend you hold so dear that they are about to move away or move to another world for two years, and make all kinds of speeches on how you have to spend SO Much time together before the inevitable, and NOT make it happen.. I do not care how busy you get, how much there is to do.. I am AWAKE to this so NO NEED FOR you to RINSE and REPEAT my short SIGHTINGS either....





SPEND THE TIME. MAKE THE TIME.. FRIENDS LIKE THAT , you need em! I say that because when Melissa and I were hanging out FINALLY last weekend.. I allowed myself to share with her some very DEEP personal conflicts and entanglements and confusion I was having .. There we sat, so comfortable with one another , plopped our yoga asses down , not in a cafe like normal people, but right there on the floor of a bookstore we were browsing in to get some small treats for her son... THAT is what we are seeking people, the kind of connection you can have where you can take the mask off, step down from being the lead role, and just get real with someone you can sit with and say anything , ANYWHERE to.. Hours and Hours we spent on the floor talking away, and when i began to share with her how I felt my whole life coming apart, and not knowing what decisons to make etc.. I got a Melissa who VERY confidently could be the LEADER for ME ..


and in that moment, I realized although I had been her teacher, friend , or mentor for a number of years... It was in that moment, sitting on the damn floor, assisting her in picking out children's books for their upcoming plane ride to the Middle East that I FELT the connection that NO amount of childhood , adult pain from a LACK of love in a relationship, even if it was with my Mommy Dearest could keep OUT..


LOVE HEALS ALL.. Somehow, in the middle of my blindly chirping away while sipping my frozen latte the silent power of gentle huge love and care and enthusiasm Melissa always carried for me, somehow began to chip away at the steel gate I had so carefully built in front of my heart. Right then and there, without my even realizing it, my curent friendship with Sweet Melissa began to HEAL DEEP pain from ALL my childhood knowing about females...





One of my beloved teachers, Seane Corn said to me back in teacher training, "Aimee, you seem to not be comfortable or at ease with females in this group , although they want to get close to you, tell me do YOU have in place a strong networkd of SUPPORTIVE , COOL, FUN, LOVING, and TRUSTING females in your own PERSONAL life?" I admitted hesitantly , tearfully, I did not.. although at that time, once again being on the OUTS with my mom, I would not, could not, did not understand that was even a problem Houston! Let alone something I was missing. I said no, but man, looking BACK , was I WAS WRONG. I HAD IT THE WHOLE TIME.. my ego holding on to all my yesterday's and yesteryears of never getting right my mom to love me, would NOT dare let my corridor to my heart open to REALLY LET HER IN!!! Or for that matter so many other females that felt they had friendships with me either.


A day at the bookstore, and the clock winding down in front of my very eyes on our time spent TOGETHER in the same room sledgehammered my heart open to REALY feel what a DEPTH of a SOUL sista and friend God had been hellbent to KEEP in my life,( guessing to make up for the first script with fem fatales) Blindly , I was so busy, teaching and supporting and cheeleading and rooting for MELISSA to find the BEST of herself, It never dawned on me to just let myself lean on her as well.. I let her in, I cried and shared some truths that were really eating me up inside.. and I LEANED and LEARNED what a REAL friend is.. I had found something so beyond the kind of kinship with a girlfriend I ever EVER knew.. Let's be honest, my emotional residue KEPT it that I would NOT know..





I also saw so clearly how the deep pain with my mom had BEEN having the power to keep LOVE OUT! Never Again.. How I ached to have a girlfriend to go dancing with, and have a slumber party with, and just REALLY be able to talk to outside my role as a yoga teacher, counselor or healer FOR JUST ME!


God had answered my prayers on that a LONG LONG LONG TIME ago. Her name is Melissa Burnell.. She is my friend, my yoga soul sista, my HERO... At one time, she could not find a confidence to tell her boss she felt she was being treated unfairly, or stand up to her mom's putdowns... Through the power of Baptiste Vinyasa, power of my presence in her life as HER teacher and friend, she took the dusty dreams of yearning for travel OFF the shelf and took seriously the inner guidance directing her to go teach overseas..Like Jesus, she too was NOT met with a bunch of support about this, outside of me.. especially from her mom and step dad, and she has gotten a bunch of flak from others as well.. Despite being riddled with comments of "YOUR DOING WHAT?YOUR TEACHING WHERE? She has stuck to her own side like glue... She has kept alive her own dreams despite flimsy , threats to lose love and support FROM loved ones. She has learned the process of UNDOING her life, applying for passports, listing her home for rent , studying what life has in store for her over there, trying to explain to people here why she is doing this.. She is MY HERO!!! SHE is one of the RARE BEAUTIFUL SOULS I KNOW who has the GUTS to listen to that inner voice.. REFUSING TO HOLD UP HER OWN LINE.





I can not even begin to THINK yet about a goodbye with my gal pal.. How could I , when despite all these years of sisterhood I ONLY JUST FOUND HER!??!!!



I know I am not the only one to have a friend like this. I INVITE YOU as you finish reading this to allow your heart to put their face in your mind.. and MAKE A MOVE to get REacquainted. and if you are fortunate enough to have them NEAR BY and they are not going anyplace anytime soon.. HANG WITH THEM ALOT.. CONSTANTLY be grateful for the beautiful soul mate God also brought into your life.. and keep in mind, LET THEM LOVE YOU.. RECEIVE who they are, and what they have to GIVE you.. No doubt, YOU too got the GIVING Part down pat.. OPEN YOUR HEART BIGGER to RECEIVE that back...


and Constantly share your gratitude for them.. We all want to keep going where the LOVE IS right.. Life is to short..


NOTHING takes the place of being LOVED.. YOU NEED IT!!!





May you ALL have a SWEET MELISSA in your life!!!!! I know I am healing BIG time if I am the one telling you, YOU DESERVE HER!!!



and PS.. I adore Melissa because she got in my face and made me see how I was compromising and shortchanging myself in other areas.. MAY YOU ALL HAVE A LOVED ONE WHO LOVES YOU SO BIG they will take the IN YOUR FACE approach when your compromising your own worth..
There are PLENTY of females out there who will root for you to NOT BE ALL YOU CAN BE..There are plenty out there who fear competition or value your uniqueness, that they will not be able to get off their high horse or purge their inner high school Gossip Girl still jonesing for high drama to cheer for your horse if it means that you might outride theirs.. Never realizing that there is plenty for all of us to go around and we are ALL meant to be EVERY WOMAN in our OWN unique way!!!


So, instead of walking away from that or resisting it, just go TOWARDS the ones that DO! Find a Melissa in your life , your heart aches for such companionship and if I can find her? Damn straight YOU CAN!


I leave you with this, let that friend be the ONE you feel MOST comfortable with to open your heart UP TO OTHER MELISSA's you probably got walking around in your life too..


Melissa not only REopened the door to my heart to RECEIVE the fullness of her friendship, but she ALSO brought me to come even closer to my own beautiful , precious teen daughter and RECEIVE her love instead of just dishing all mine out.


This bond with my daughter beyond anything I ever had with my own mom, is healing the INNER teenager in me that always wanted such a closeness with her mom. I give it to my kid, I GET SOMETHING BACK that HEALS deeply some unfinished business in my teen years.. It also allowed me to just find the courage to come CLOSER toward other amazing female friends that despite all outward appearances, I was PROBABLY ALSO not REALLY letting in...


Aleen, Darla, Amy Leigh, Julie Pike, Rhonda, Liz, Rachel, Gayle, Bethany, Ossi, Karen, Sharon, Sara, Mary Ruth, Cynthia M, Missy , Raji, Saunya (although S probably being that we go waaaaaay back got more than most) Connie, my childhood friend who was ALWAYS there she too was a early version of a genuine gal pal..Amy T, Amy B, Becky, Caroline, Lara, Carlene, Catie A, Esther, Holly J, Kelly, Kimberly, and Karen.....


Let this be a lesson to all of you who read this, Focus MORE on where the LOVE IS... and that is all you will FEEL... FEEL the love.. ALL YOU CAN GET... and no matter the risk, be DONE once and for all, closing the RIGHT people OFF , just cause you too got the shaft a few times.. No matter where you felt the loss of someone in your old baggage, if you keep shut down , YOU WILL LOSE OUT HUGE and you feel it and DEEPLY regret it.. when they are long gone or miles away.....


I love YOU.. COUNT ME IN as your friend and personal cheerleader.. Aim





I LOVE YOU MELISSA BURNELL...



















I

God, alive and WELL in Africa.....through Baron, Moses, Catherine,, Paige , Leah, and ME...

I am in tearful awe of the HIGHER powers that be that are creating HEAVENLY DOWNDOG DO over's for OUR brothers and sisters of Africa, once again, through Baron Baptiste, and founder of the African Yoga Project, Paige Elenson.

From the deepest part of myself, and for reasons I had to blog about to be able to understand just why I feel compelled to write to you about this.. My inherent hope is that I talk to you and reach you from a place below your head.. From the place Africa NEEDS a response , from the heart... I hope to get you to FEEL for these young people, FEEL for the place they started , feel MORE for where they are going.. and spark awe and accomplishment and humble pride in YOUR OWN JOURNEY, whereever it takes you! May your heart's flame ignite and suppport the torch that alchemists , Paige, Baron, Moses and a whole global yoga famdamily in Kenya have sparked for the people in Africa to find within, come alive, come into their own knowing and EMPOWER themselves so that Africa too can REclaim her power!



From the first day, I sat down at my kitchen table and began watching the documentaries Baron portrayed on AYP, I was immediately struck by the struggle, the poverty , the updogs done in the dirt, the stories of how challenged Africa has been... to say the VERY least.. We all know this, but we do not know anything until we have had it explained to us by those LIVING THERE.
Underneath my tears for that, my heart broke wide open, but underneath the empathy, it touched into something else.. AWE! Awe for the RAW truth of how their lives were written for them right up until yoga found them.
Awe for the HUMANITY, and the HUMILITY... yet, underneath that even was simply Awesome space for JOY.... which empowers a Mickey Mouse club of people practicing hot yoga in REAL heat, and yeah, in the slums, yet they don't seem to notice the conditions. Yoga's power NEVER lost on me is its magic to take ME over, YOu over in a way that you never even notice it being done.. To give up playing God, you get to get surrender and LOSE YOUR LIFE..
Getting lost in the powerful flow of movement and breath gets you to rise UP and OUT and OVER your story, yourself, your lack...your pitying yourself, shaming, criticizing etc..
It seemed no different for them either.. Watching these heroes of all ages, and all levels smiling in flip dog , seeing how the power of yoga could entirely FLIP their whole day, and if you can believe it, if you have experienced it yourself, then you see how yoga can flip the story, they could then FLIP their whole destiny.. While watching them all come together, working with anything and anyplace they had to throw down a down dog, they seemed to FORGET the story of strife, forget the script of how cramped they live, how much they lack..

I am totally on board with ANYone in this life who can sit and be comfortable in their own skin having the guts to tell their story.. What you get to witness and take in, and be part of even at your own kitchen table, is how they each share a bit of themselves from the most authentic place. You gotta honor and cheer for a dude named Moses who can employ vulnerability as his strength to speak about his life before yoga. A life saturated in survival living, often going to any extremes for money, hurting himself and others. The open, raw, real expression and painful story that comes through Moses and the gang BEFORE THE STATURE of their teaching could come through.. and BEYOND the teaching itself that brings constant tears to my eyes, and in listening to THEIR stories of pain, wondering WHY on earth this was resonating with me that much until I realized that being able to hold space for Moses's life before YOGA life snatched him up was really Moses unknowingly empowering ME to acknowledge the terrain of my own hero's journey. Compassion and Empathy I could feel for any of them , but for the first time it allowed me to feel it for myself. All the while, I was to busy shrugging it off. Moses , Leah speaking candidly of their own truth, whether it hurt or not, allowed me to sit with the necessary emotion I could offer them ... I sat afterwards and allowed myself to FEEL for my own personal struggle, fight and flight living all the live long day. but also with that felt and healed, it then got me to tap into the stepping stones to finding my own inner teacher, the joy of teaching, evolvement that all started with Baron's support but eventually, if I was gonna keep walking my path to find my Road Home.. It became evident to me that I was gonna have to gear up and walk my path for MYSELF and BY myself... Being alone on this path, often lonely on this path, I realized how UNalone I was... Only when I could really allow the tears of pride to flow for how far they had come.. I could also very humbly SEE my own hunger for LIGHT in a whole new light.


At a certain point of our lives ,or many points, something brings us to a place of surrender, and in that space, usually brought to our knees, the mask comes out , the truth comes out and we see we have lost our way.. We might think that our life is over , in the darkest moments, it damn sure would SEEM that way.. in truth , it is about to BEGIN...



(First off, having spent much time myself in the Baptiste mecca, I have coined Baron as THE " founding father" that have empowered so many to REschool themselves in Self love for BETTER LIVING! Baron helps so many break down barriers of useLESS conditioning, stripping down layers put upon us by others , or those layers we keep insisting make us US.. We walk out a bit more intact , and a bit more at ease with ourselves , and that good vibration stays with us long after leaving the sweat cave, over time, we learn that this goes far beyond yoga exercise, but rather the wisdom of yoga as a gateway to offer us more light of day with simply a better feel and outlook about the self. Turns out, that higher self esteem is meant to be EXERCISED into our own day to day life long after the mat rolls up. Yoga mat, under the arm, eventually we carry out with us LIFE tools of a HIGHER, CLEARER ,PEACEFUL mind, FULLER heart, selflessness, forgiveness... you know shit like that... Ha Ha.. By shit, I mean fertilizer for NEW GROWTH in one's life.. Baron gives us BACK that understanding, and then us yoga teachers who GET that concept have a tangible place to offer that to our students..





Baron blows my mind, one man, often with his own kids in tow, who seems to not EVER sit around idle, but who is rather most interested in going boldly beyond the yoga world of Lululemon, and fancy exotic places now seems to really into the hole in the wall places of OUR humanity, to places where anger and fear breed little good , places

where no one has gone before.. and places that no one else in politics or goverment seemed to REALLY know what to do with.. and teach the POSSIBILITY of looking withIN at the INternal affairs of a human being to have a shot IN SLUMlord HELL as to a bigger scope of Ghandi like Change for the whole of humanity!







I once read something I NEVER forgot ...." if your REALLY THAT good at something , people will know about it and discover YOU.... It does not matter where you live, how big or small the community is, how much you advertise, how much you boast, or even how big your sign is.. Yeah, these things help, but ultimately, I guess can see what Africa is doing in such a big way is because LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE .... I am personally discovering as I teach my own classes, and feel the power of my own soul's power humbly pulling me further into myself to teach something EXTRAORDINARY.. There is less bells and whistles, and yet, ironically.. something in my own classes is being HEARD louder.. Hmmm... withIN myself and my students. That said .. . I ONLY can radar in on Africa's gentle, louder elephant call of its own powerful spirit to call out TO US! This whole blog thing is found UNDER my SPREADING GOOD WORD page.. AFrica is HUNGRY to CHANGE THEIR MIND ABOUT THEMSELVES!!! I remember that hunger well! I SUPPORT that HUNGER from within to DARE to have the BALLS To dream of a different life! Something INside me aches to SPREAD THE WORD about this to anyone that will listen and SUPPORT a country of men and women and children who have been under this spell that THEY DO NOT DESERVE anything BEYOND the cramped closet they are sharing a room with their siblings in..
THIS IS BULLSHIT..A part of me is so deeply passionate about this because I used to BE under that same spell. I know the soul's strength to toss the ego's story that will only keep you IN the slums of stinking thinking.. EVERY time I watch this, I FEEL something old and conditioned LEAVING ME.. In reading this, in reading ANY part of my story, a blog, in watching a man like Moses , YOU too get the powerful OPPORTUNITY to UNLOCK yourself from any place in the story of your own mind or heart or both that continues to shackle you with thinking you also have to play small, or dumb it down or keep accepting some OLD OUTDATED mindset that was passed down to your generation...







Thanks to Utube, giving us all the unlimited ability to "BROADCAST ourself", you get to watch Moses, Catherine and Leah, teach and share yoga from the DEPTH and DEEPEST, RAWEST part of themselves.. Having walked their yoga path and gone through the fire in my own unique way.. All I can do is resonate and be drawn to the personal understanding and awe of the courage each of them had to find, also with Baron as a lifeguide, spiritual house parent to go to Kenya, grab hold of anyone who already decided FIRST inside they were THAT HUNGRY enough to WANT change , the way to change OUTSIDE is to ultimately go inside and dive down underneath the chains of their mind and hearts to go within to face all the parts of them they feared , they battled that kept them swimming and gasping for air in a dirty pool of inner turmoil..These guys ROCK.. They take off the goggles and really SEE the fight emselves, seeing how all the parts that badly maybe wanted to cut away, were the very parts where the BIGGEST light was being dimmed ... What I can share openly with you that shocked me most about ME.. When we go to the places we WON't LOOK. we are not left in darkness and despair but actually BLINDED with the LIGHT and BEST of ourselves.. We go down , down, down , however deep we think we gotta go to get up close and personal with our OWN LIGHT.. dare I say, the divinity of the human spirit. No longer EXPLOITING, but rather Exploring the contaminated garbage thinking that gets them to sniff out to SEE where they lost or tossed their own soul and esteem curbside..To get from THERE, there is a requirement to go TOWARDS one's own personal, unique story of shame, terror, trauma, smallness, emtpiness, self hate, anger and see if there is ANYTHING underneath it that gets us to CROSS over .. Moses, or me or ANYone who can dare go there ultimately discovers a true richness that all in the money can not buy..the KNOWING OF THE WARRIOR spirit in oneself. Something that must be FELT to REALLY FEEL another's! It is THEIR OWN HUMAN SPIRIT has EMpowered them to ignore their story, ignore what even WE have ignorantly KEPT teaching them to THINK and FEEL about themselves or their destiny with our DISempowering, PITYING phrases like "third world"countries.. and shining light and love to the darkness BREEDING more of the same , closeting their REAL FIRE and BEAUTY and POWER of their own human spirit.. Regardless of the once former backlash of their own critical mind or the battle from anyone outside them in Kenya who haven't yet hungered for anything that doesn't feed the starved mind that only knows anger and fear.. THey went anyway...They found the abunant soul through their own practice and now they are GAINFULLY EMPLOYING THE ESTEEM of KENYA!







They went NO where outside their own zipcode, nor were they freed up to trade their small living quarters for some Park Avenue Penthouse as they journeyed towards enlightenment.. Nor did they get to do it with any REAL Outer PEACE and QUIET to hear the voice of the God within..



They have gone on a journey, one that holds many MANY layovers and many layers when the small jagged MISGuided mind insists that as miserable and cramped as it has been , they can NOT allow ourselves permission to break away from the knowingness of what they have ONLY ever known... THEY do not DESERVE to be anything GREAT and MIGHTY , and therefore, THEY might as well, cash it in and STAY SMALL.... STAY comfortably NUMB... fighting their way through each day, for food, for water, for breathing room , for survival.... making do day by day is NOT what GOd wants for ANY single ONE OF US..



You see folks, through my own path, my old battle....Self JUDGEMENT and BLAME and CONDEMNING can NOT make a NEW change, for ANY ONE OF US in ANY Part of the world.. In fact, I promise you, It gurantees us to NEVER really find out who could be if we can NOT part with who or whatever CONDITIONED and CONVINCED us to BELIEVE that we are here to suffer , so struggle , to strain, and worse, SUBCONSCIOUSLY keep teaching that to every generation that comes through us......In fact, It will only ensure that we really NEVER get off the ground.. It is clear to see that a man like Moses who only once knew SELF destruction, hate , and hurt and the hell of feeling there is NOTHING GOOD HE could contribute. Despite the hardened mind of his, or mine or anyone if the SOUL of you knows that is complete HOGWASH and there is a real HUNGER for something better, I believe that God will send Baron or MOSES, or MYSELF in to FIND YOU..



Third world countries start with a third world mind across the globe that fights its greatness and grandeur for PLAYING BIG in this life.. A mind that has often MIScommunicated what Power means , and no matter how much we can brag or boast the majority of us are hardwired to FEAR our POWER within , an ego in Kenya or Kentucky would most prefer that we just hush up, and hunker down instead to cozy up with our shame, perhaps invite it's drinking buddy GUILT in to really KILL a party of EMpowerment... As we begin to make RADICAL change, or ALLOW ourself the SOME GOODS for a change, there is still a bit of a battle with a mind that only knows who were THEN that gets us to stuff it, and toss in our dream of a better, bigger PEACEFUL life ,it would rather keep us thinking WHO are WE anyway to THINK that we have the power to bring back the Peace on Earth so many beauty contestants have the good intention underneath the Derma Blend to still speak of?? How the hell can you CONVINCe yourself of anything BROADER than that when your struggling with yourself and with others that only knew LIFE to be on a much smaller, cramped, HARDER, HOTTER than hell scale?



I can not talk to you about these three without wiping back the tears that spring forth from my own eyes about the silent personal KNOWING about the fire they have walked.. THey have gone to a place you can NOT ever find outside yourself at Destinations.com..







There is no terrain like that of THE HERO's journey.. and in that darkness they found a tiny crack within , that allowed a man named Baron to climb through the lighted window of their own hearts aching for change and possibility of a better tomorrow.. With Baron's support , and REtraining of the mind, they have pulled off the tarp, and UNcovered the Blaze and Blinding light of their FULLEST power of THEIR AUTHENTIC, CONFIDENT , JOYFUL SELVES...







Having only a rich understanding on how to get there from HERE.. I can share with you that You do not go there and not REturn back without the gift of personal DEEP insight and WISDOM, and MORE DEPTH, Deep Understanding and INTIMACY to share with your whole circle... When you find it, you wish NOT to keep it quiet , but to share that path with others, walk WITH THEM.. in deep roots of EMpathy, and quiet understanding , and BIG space to hold space for their own route... In fact, what I can share with you that my fearful , anxious mind forgot to fill me in on is the soul knows that YOU WILL COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE.. you SEEK the light for a REASON, FOR A PURPOSE to Be A BRINGER OF THE LIGHT.... THE light we are looking for is UNconditional LOVE , our minds pack a ton or smarts, but to me, I have discovered that it is my own soul's knowledge about the power of UNconditional SELF love and ACCEPTANCe and FORGIVENESS..that is going to bridge ANY gap between partners, neighborhoods, communities, states and countries ... It is ONLY ever going to be With love and empathy and EMpowered Compassion FOR THE SELF that is only ever going to show and share a sense of unity that embarks one person like Baron, one woman like Paige, one woman like Leah, Catherine , myself or a young man named MOSES that push us further and deeper that as we touch that bigger part of ourselves, there is a knowing that we are meant to be on a path that wants to humbly lead and light the way for others to find their light within.... that torches and REignites in us ,not just a deeper love of YOGA , but the deeper love of YOGA that leads us to DEEPER intimacy, and REconnection in HUMANITY... Ibelieve as we see the Global state of affairs and struggle to keep holding on to feeling that we can be safe in a world large and at war.. if we get quiet, if we go INside for the solution that will work for the highest and best of everyone .. we will see that within, ONE person.. there is A HIGHER Power from withIN that says simply TURN AWAY from a poverty mindset that wants to stay in the dark, stay in isolation, stay DISconnected from each other.. NONE OF THIS SPARKS CHANGE FOR THE DAWN of a NEW DAY... Moses , Catherine , Leah, Me.. BEen there , Done that.. What you see with Moses, or Catherine , or Leah, is they are freeing themselves up from thinking that they have to stay with the status quo of staying slaves to the third world thinking that confined them in the first place.. Looking at their smiles for teaching yoga and standing with stature and proudness for who they have discovered themselves to be.. They, We ,ANYONE on a quest for yoga, wellness in any form, is doing just that.. Perhaps, it was an ASS backwards way to get there. Perhaps, it came in the death of a loved one, a cancer, a divorce, a depression, a loss of some sort.. God will use the flimiest tiniest window for BIG AWESOME CHANGE.. Baron consistently seems to know HE is the messenger to tune into SOUL's across the globe whispering CHANGE.. LIKE IT OR NOT. .CHANGE!!!



Things do NOT change, WE change.. We start all change with CHANGING OUR MINDS about what we think or who we thought we were.. ...







Maybe that is what it took for ME, for Moses, for HUMANITY around the globe to get so busy, so isolated, so big into STUFF , so convinced YOU HURT SO I WILL HURT YOU BACK.. Maybe , sadly this is where we all had to get to, losing our sense of safety , losing ourselves through the excesss, losing our soliders , losing our job, losing our health, losing .. get lost and more lost listening and believing in that LIFE IS HARD, LOVE HURTS, THIS IS THE WAY IT IS... YEt, can we see how we gotta EMbace the IGNORANCE, EMBRACE THE LOST, EMBRACE THE CANCER<>

Truth be told, Our soul never feared this juicy, gritty , sorta soul seaching thing, in fact, I am learning to know very consciously this was the PATH we EACH had to walk to GET BACK TO THE CREATOR within.. We OURSELVES had to get to a place of bringing a loving LOOK at the ILLUSION of BROKE , broken, bitter, fragments of ourselves to HEAL it the break in our esteem... which puts us back to OUR GOODNESS and OUR WHOLENESS. That has to come first to be able to teach Bridge and Wheel from something outside the training manual??

I hope that somehow in this message I can convey to you that all any of us have done is some deep personal work to put the pieces back together, lay down the OLd Story, and find PEACE from within that comes with UNconditional self love.. IF your are not there yet, or if you find as you continue on your path, you want to get to something UNDERNEATH your exhaustion of feeling a big part of you is amiss.. no matter what all external appearances look like.. then perhaps, Moses, Catherine, Paige , Baron, Leah, and Myself could be YOUR bridge that gets YOU to lay down the sword and STOP battling yourself , stop STARVING yourself of love and being loved and quit BINGEING and PURGING, and chewing the fat thinking you must only KEEP dining on anything that ultimately will never FEED your soul which aches to FUEL you with KNOWING of just how BIG your SUSPOSED to be!

African Yoga Project is showing themselves and US what can really GO DOWN when one GOES down INSIDE the well of themselves and touches the power of the GOD within.. The fullness and wisdom of teaching yoga not from their heads but from the expansion of a bigger love for them gives them the power to have a bigger heart for everyone in the room..

Watching Moses do his thing in what one portrays or considers the SLUMS of what so many call home.. is teaching us there IS NO PLACE that YOGA or GOD or BEAUTY can not get to.... can not NOT heal.. There is NO lack in the fullness of one's heart.. and as you watch these videos and documentary's , Africa's spirit rips through the superinfo highway.. They are going WITHIN .. THEY no longer freeing themselves , refusing to buy into an OUTDATED inner slave that will HOLD themself in captivity, There are teaching us through their live example what yoga has set out to REteach ALL OF OUR MINDS, there IS NO separateness, When you watch the snippets of progression with the AFRICA YOGA PROJECT.. Moses, Paige , Baron Leah, Catherine and the collective smiles of SO CALLED IMPoverished Men, Women, and children spirits are SOMEHOW crossing Borders and reaching US, ALL THE WAY FROM THERE TO HERE.... NOW, that IS POWER of what comes from the POWER WITHIN...

Thank you Moses, Leah, Catherine, Leah and Baron.. Through YOUR witnessing YOUR WORK, I could finally hold a sense of deep pride in MY OWN INNER WORK.... Thank you for sharing The BEFORE to REALLY help me FEEL your AFTER..

YOU INSPIRE and TEACH a TEACHER OVER HERE.. to keep going inside and constantly stay awake to letting the barriers crumble as I go more towards taking a bigger honorable look at the time to TAKE A LEAD ROLE IN MY OWN LIFE!